First Idea for a Short Film

My Idea starts of with a teenage girl, aged 18 looking up at her house, she is confused and puzzled because for some reason things do not seem all that normal to her, this is the present day. A voice over then starts, it is her narrating to the auidende about her and her life and why things have gone wrong. It then goes into a shot of her in her bedroom smoking, a close up her smoke coming out of her mouth, it then goes into a hot of her drinking. These shots are actually flash backs but the auidence does not realise this yet. There is no music yet. It then goes back into the present day where she is in her room just silently sitting on the edge of her bed and her sister walks in. her sister sits down on the bed next to her and picks up a top that was on the bed and smells it. She buries her head in it, the girl is talking to her, getting louder as she doesn't understand why her sister wont talk back to her. Her sister doesn't even notice her presence and when her mother calls her she gets up and walks out of the room, the teenage girl starts shouting at her, not understanding.
It then goes into another flashback of her self-harming and then goes into a different shot of her taking drugs. The non-diegetic starts to come on in the background, softly at first then gradually gets louder. The last shot in the bedroom is of her closing her eyes. When she opens them again she is outside in the alleyway, she hears whispers and is high from the drug abuse. The camera is going to be shaky at this point to and is going to have POV shots to make it seems more realistic to the audience. She is hallucinating and is trying to block it out by closing her eyes and covering her ears with her hands. The music gets quiter as two girls are on either side of her whispering things in her ears, mean things that make her scream ' Shut up', the music then stops abruptly.
It then goes into a shot of her in her kitchen with her whole family, there is no music and is back to a voice-over, she is talking about her family. Her family look sad and depressed, they are talking but the auidence cannot hear what they are talking about. She can't communicate with them, they don't appear to be listening to her, she then starts shouting and screaming at them, waving her hands in front of their faces but they dont see her. She then gives up and kneels on the floor, breathing heavily, quietening down, it is very quiet apart form the sound of her breathing. Then her voice-over comes in again, it then goes into a shot of a close up of her face, the voice over explaining that the reason she couldnt do anything is because she is actually dead, in a whisper. The last shot is a long shot her dead on the bed, from the close-up and her 'ghost' her looking at dead body. It then goes into black.